Mm. Nah.

I love how in all the tv series that I love- they are filmed in a tiny town, and all the characters within the show just can't get enough of it....
Well- in my fantasy, there is no small town. There is no gossip that everyone is aware of.. There is new things at every turn, and new faces to meet- there is laughter and love and less contention. There is large, open, spaces- complimented by buildings that only run on green energy! Ha! (I'm a ultra tree hugger...)
I just want something more. Is that too much to ask?

Well..

Well... Christmas was splendid.. I really enjoyed it. Other than I no longer get the Christmas spirit or feeling at all and my parents had a wonderful fight that I witnessed.. It was good to be around those that I love.
I keep trying so hard to be thankful for the things I have in my life.. But gosh, I just keep returning to such bitterness. I keep feeling like there has to be more to life then what it is right now. There has to be more beauty, or more raw joy- somewhere out there. I just don't know where to look. I hate that I hate life so much sometimes:. I try not to.. But I have a very difficult time getting over my own selfish thoughts I guess..
I guess I just hate that I feel so worthless and not wanted or appealing or good enough ever, and that drains the absolute life out of me.
I just don't know what to do. I need some good new goals.. Goals that will help me love myself for who I am.
But gosh.. That's so hard for me. I realize that's hard for everyone no matter who you are- and I get that is the truth of the matter. I know I'm not alone feeling this way.. But gosh I just need, I CRAVE something-- Anything more than this. Maybe something that will make me feel somewhat whole.. In a sense.
But ugh. I guess I'll wait and see.
Xxx.

Roller Coaster!

Gosh!! Talk about living the life of a teenager. It's up- down, back and forth, sometimes the pressures so great all I can do is close my eyes and wait for it to pass! And other times its constant motion makes me sick! However, I'm the only one who can choose to scream and fear every second of it- or enjoy the ride.
I feel as if there is a hole within me- emotionally. I don't know what created it, or if every girl has this same feeling. But I just don't feel quite- whole I guess. What makes its more complicated is that I constantly try to fill this gap within me with boys. Which is no easy task! There is so much drama and confusion when it comes to men! And they say WE are the ones that are confusing- gosh! I don't know if that's accurate. I always love the wrong people- and put up with those who treat me the wrong way. I'm not sure why I do- but I just always seem to find myself mixed up with the wrong boy- the cherry on top of that emotional disaster sundae, is that every time I like a guy who likes me! For me! It never works out- it always ends up blowing up in my face. My heart gets so involved that is just destroys me, and so I turn back to the boys that originally liked me only for my body, or whatever shallow reason.. It makes me sick that the majority of the time I am doing this to myself.. My relationships don't work because of my own immaturity and ignorance, but no matter how hard I try I feel as if I never escape them. I want a successful relationship so badly it hurts. I know it won't solve my problems, and most likely it will make me more stressed than I already am- but I'm so willing to give it a chance that it makes me nauseous with anticipation. I just hope that if it works out for me, it will be with the right guy. Someone who respects me for who I am.. My fingers may forever be crossed. xxx.

Done

Gosh. I'm so fed up with everyone's shit. I'm sick of feeling like I have to be someone I'm not to get the love I need. I hate that our generation is so lazy and careless. It drives me crazy that no one is near as considerate as they used to be. I feel like I was born in the wrong generation. I am just done with everyone and everything right now. Gosh. Forget it.

Familia

I have been slacking a bit! Sorry- today I am grateful for many things. I am grateful for the religion I belong to, and the hymns we sang today that lifted my spirits! I'm thankful for small kindnesses that make your whole day! Ill thankful for smiles and laughter :) but I am mostly thankful for family! They mean so much to me. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.. And I can't thank them enough. They are always here for me when I need them, support me in all that I do.. And love me through my greatest trials. They joy that we share between us compares to no else! And I a very grateful for that :) xx

Great Purpose

Hmm.. I feel like. All we do in life is seek after love. Which sounds incredibly dramatic-- but it's true! It's not just the people who are incredibly good looking either, nor are they the only ones who have luck with love. But everyone is constantly searching for it.. And when a relationship ends, another is already in play, building up again to love. I feel like its our great purpose as human beings to give love and receive love. Which is great! I am so thankful for the people in my life that love me, and who allow me to love them. They are great examples to me.. They show how true love should be expressed.. You always know when someone really loves you.. It just is a feeling that you get when you are around them. I am grateful for love! And hope that everyone finds it.. Wherever they are. Xxx.

Honesty

Honestly is always the best policy, even when it's not a trend! I am grateful for those who are honest with me. I may not always appreciate what the truth is, or agree with it! But I appreciate honesty in itself.. It's a wonderful value to always uphold. And I am grateful for it.

Friends

Thankful for those who always stick by my side.. Through thick and thin! They love me for who I am! And they accept me when I look like a hobo, and act like a witch. I could not ask for more. I am extremely blessed to have them in my life. Thank you compadres that are always there for me.. I love and appreciate you more than you know! Thanks for always listening to my useless rants, and countless swear words.. For putting up with my "way to tired that I am hyper" moods.. And making me laugh no matter the circumstances. I love you dearly. xx

Youthful Spirits

One thing I am thankful for that I will began with.. is kids.. They bring such a light. There is this little girl I nanny a few times a week.. She is 9, and very cute, smart, and funny! I love being around her- if only for a few hours because she is just so kind! She really does have such a kindred spirit, and I admire it just about as much as I appreciate it.. I love how easy going she is, and how she always reassures me! Plus she loooves to talk! So we get along wonderfully :) I am just thankful for the various personalities and spirits in the world out there.. They bring much needed variety to our lives! I really am grateful for that! <3

Oh..... Deer!

Well.. Today kind of sucked. I mean- I'll be honest with you, because I strive to always be honest. Monday, December 3rd, I hit a buck. A HUGE ASS BUCK. I was driving home with my friend, and didn't see it at all! Literally, I never believed when people would say "it came out of no where!" I always thought.. Yeeeeahhhh- right, and the sky is orange! But in all honesty- this stupid creature came out of no where! One minute, Robin and I are talking, the next- BAM! SLAM! THANK YOU MA'AM! Crushed hood, destroyed grill- DONZO. What makes matters worse.. Is that I have already crashed my sisters car, and got a $90 speeding ticket.. Racking ^^^ my parents insurance up the wazoo! So telling my dad about it broke my heart.. Then, my step-brother whom I share the car with accused me of texting and driving- which in all reality I normally do! But since I had a passenger who wasn't a family member I had my phone tucked away! However, Robin told Josh that I had been texting. Which really made me feel terrible and embarrassed.. I know she didn't mean any harm by telling him.. But I really hadn't been texting- so it just made me furious and defensive. Which made me incredibly emotional-- especially with my current state of instability! Ugh, anyway.. I was already on the verge of tears when I was walking down the hall.. and I said hi to Todd, like I usually do, and he replies "hey, beautiful," and I don't know why! But by heck- I had to literally bite my tongue to hold back tears. It was just something tiny that lifted my spirits in to a more heightened emotional state! Gosh! I am a wreck.. any who, I went to drama.. multiple people asked if I was ok, but I just kinda shook my head without a reply.. Thankfully singing pulled me out of my slump a little and I was able to make it through the day without my tears brimming over. It meant a lot to me that people who aren't even really my close friends had noticed that my inner light was diminished and did their best to cheer me up. I really am surrounded by a great group of people.. It made my heart swell to see them reach out to me. I am going to try hard to find one thing that I am really thankful for in each day, in hopes of lifting my spirits to where they need to be. I hope that everyone out there might be able to do the same.. I encourage you to- it just might help? Guess we'll see! Release some of our inner venom.. But question? If I get rid of my venom.. where will it go? Store in a small box waiting for my really dark days?
Guess there is only way to find out... Good luck everyone. xoxo

This Is Where It Gets Real

I apologize viewers if you we're actively following my blog, that I have been slacking hard core! My apologies! Blogspot was banned from school, and I have been busy.. But I am back! :) however I need to warn you that this is when shiz get real.. I can be as happy, and motivational as I'd like.. But it's mostly a big ole' lie. So if you can't handle the unhappiness and messed up aspects of life- I'd ask you to tune out now.
My name is Ellora Pollyanna Wardrop, I'm 16, and I live in a dreadfully small town. I have so many incredible blessings in my life- but I have also had countless trials. As dramatic and petty as it sounds I feel constantly depressed. I hate being around people, I dread going to bed because I know I'll wake up to a new day. I feel sickly all the time. Never good enough.. "Always room for improvement," yadda yadda. It is torture to feel like you cant tell anyone the way you truly feel because they just don't get it. They think your fishing for compliments or justification- in all reality all you want is the smallest glimpse of hope for better days, for future happiness. Conversation becomes a blur, you agree with things only to pass to the next meaningless encounter. Your heart aches- but for what? You never know. You never know what you want or what would make you happy.. But you are constantly doing drastic, dumb things to try and feel something, or getting someone to notice that you are really hurting inside. Tears are no longer a rarity.. They constantly flood and run over your eyes. You feel like your choking down bile all the time- because if you didn't something awfully honest would come forth- and that would scare people off. But what is most infuriating is that you don't know how to get rid of the venom in your body. Can't bleed it out, throw it up, sleep it away.. I have been searching- but I have been unsuccessful in finding a cure for it. I am so... Incredibly tired of feeling so terrible. I don't know what to do. It kills me a little bit everyday- but it also kills everyone around me. I am losing relationships with friends and family more and more everyday. But I don't know how to get out! It's like I am drowning! I claw for the surface- but water bombardes my lungs, my body- and there is no escape. I wrote this poem that seem to describe it in a way.. ---- when hope in dwindling at the fringes.. You feel lost and so dreadfully alone. Mental sickness beats your body. Your eyelids are like lead.. Drooping beyond your bottom lashes. Your heart beats.. But without a purpose. Life feels like you're hunting the escape of a maze in the dark without the aid of the light from the moon or stars. Weight presses hard against your chest. Breathing is difficult. Each breath- thought out. Tears are shed so often that every single one of your pillows are mascara stained. Heartache burns within you.
But how do you win?
Where do you go?
On starless nights..?
Any who.. I know God is where I need to turn to.. But I feel like He doesn't want me either. I am just so lost. I know I am a tiny speck on the scale of problems that everyone has.. And I am sorry to complain so much.. But I have to get this venom out of me some how. So this is my escape.. If only excruciatingly fleeting and temporary.. It's something.

Your Journey

Enjoy where you are.

Love who you are.

Find joy in what is around you.

Don't compare your journey to anyone else's.

Let the good times roll,

and disregard the bad. 

Most of all- cherish your journey because it is your own.

It is not about the destination.. But the up, downs, switchbacks, roundabouts, and detours of the journey. Someone who is truly happy- will enjoy the scenery of a detour, rather than curse the delay.  

Right Now

I always believe if I was somewhere else I would be happier.. That if something extravagant happened in my life it would solve all my problems. Well, WRONGO. 
Living in the NOW is hard. Personally, I don't like to focus my attention on school, so I use my energy elsewhere. But it does nothing but make you miserable. 
If you have gratitude for all you have in your life right now, living here in the present is not near as hard.
Be thankful for your blessings you have right now! That way, when time goes on you will be grateful for everything in your future. As it comes along.. 
This Thanksgiving season make a list of the things you are thankful for. It may be a tiny list, or it may be forrrrrever long. No matter what, list everything you are thankful for.

Like the quote says- channel ALL your ENERGY into living RIGHT NOW! And.. love it. 

Fear, Love, & Loss

I think this is a great quote. We often forget as human beings that everyone has a past. Everyone has had their own struggles, and we shouldn't judge. Ever. But especially before we know a person and their story.

--It isn't fair that some people suffer or hurt more than others. That inside ourselves we rip our own confidence to pieces. It's not ok. But that is what life consist of. Things that are not ok, not enjoyable, in fact it consists of heart wrenching pain everyday! But, that is the test. The test that determines who is strong enough to overcome it. We may never thank God for our trials, but they certainly make us who we are. 

If you are reading this I hope that you look inside yourself and realize what makes you- YOU. It is not your fancy material items that we waste all our life working for, but something much greater than that. I hope you recognize the bigger picture of things. Don't let your struggles, or sadness define your character. There is a light in you, and it will always be there if you ALLOW it to be. Remember to love before you judge, and never forget that everyone has a past, and everyone has their own story.

-Treat Others How You Would Like To Be Treated

Veterans

Veteran's Day

What an amazing today to honor the people who have done so much for us. We had a Veteran's Day assembly yesterday, and a guest speaker James Golbal(sp?)came and spoke to about his experiences with war. It was a shock to me to hear his story. He was captured after his plane was shot down. He had broken his left leg, but he did his best to land correctly preventing him from breaking any other bones. Luckily, there were armed guards who intercepted him when he hit the ground or he believed he would have been murdered by the mob of people who were also there. He talked about how he was taken to a prison camp and stuffed in a small cave. Where he remained the majority of his capture. He said they would allow the people from the village to come in and beat on the prisoners. They would punch, kick, and spit on them. However, he did his best to find something positive about this capture. When his leg had healed he was able to participate in saying the Pledge of Allegiance, and reciting the Lord's prayer. 

I thought it was such an amazing example to find something positive about such a horrible situation. His patriotism was astonishing, and it was such an example to me to be more appreciative about the freedom I have today.

Don't Take Your Freedom For Granted! 

Be Who You Are

Hola Comrades! Been a few days.. But I am back to my quotes! I absolutely love this quote by Dr. Seuss for many reasons. First off, I am a lover of rhymes, secondly; it is so true. I think this is such a good quote to live by! I don't know if you feel this way, but I have always tried so hard to keep everyone around me happy. No matter who they were. If they were having a bad day and I couldn't fix it I always took it personally. Plus in my tiny school everyone thinks it is 'ok' to make fun of everyone. Which I really hate... BUT! I have decided that I just do not care anymore. Because those who love me for the weirdo I am are the only ones that matter. Don't think for a second that you deserve to be treated poorly just to be in the popular crowd, or because 'you're a part of something'. That is such bull, and I challenge all reading this that you will give up being treated poorly, and seek out friends that will appreciate you for YOU! Don't settle to be a crappy, second-hand, version of someone else. It is not worth it! 

And along with that don't be afraid to stick up for what you believe. With personality comes integrity. Don't forget that.

Don't waste your time and energy on a place you don't belong. If you don't feel respected for who you are when you are there- then don't continue to show up. 

Respect yourself enough, to NOT care what others think of you.

T.G.I.F.

Thank goodness its Friday. I am switching it up today! Not going to write about a picture or quote.. Just gonna write how I feel. If you have been following my blog you know I jump around a lot- so stay with me the best you can.

--This week has been a long one. It has also been an emotional roller coaster. Constant up and downs. It is really frustrating when you put your best intentions forward but continue to get nothing but disappointment in return.I just don't know what to do! I am sick of feeling inadequate when I am trying my best to be kind, or be a good friend. I am sick of giving people the benefit of the doubt hoping that they will come around.. But it doesn't happen!! So why do I keep trying!? Life is just a blur for me right now.. I am doing my best to keep my head up and be strong for those you rely on me. But it is becoming an exhausting task. 

Also, I am confused about religion, sick of trying to impress people that don't matter. I am tired. Tired of feeling like the glue that keeps too many people together. 

I am not trying to put myself on a pedestal, or make myself look like a victim. 

I'm just tired. 

When I get in these funks I try to remember all those out there who are worse of than me. There is a funny "E-card" that says, "no matter how bad it gets, just remember that someone out there has to clean the bathrooms at taco bell." Haha! That would be so terrible! 

--I know I am extremely blessed, and spoiled in many ways. I know I take too much for granted and am not appreciative enough. Sometimes things get in your sights and you forget all that you have.. That is where I am at today. 

BUT! I will do my best to clear my head and be back to my positive self on monday! 

XOXO

Keep your head up...... <3

Move On

This is the perfect quote. I wish I would have found it earlier in the week! Because it would have been nice to have on a constant repeat inside my head.
-There is another quote somewhat similar to this that says- "the one thing I know about life, is that is goes on." It's so true. 
Everyone has days where they don't believe in this. But things are going to get better- in most situations they do. You are going to wake up and see the sun in the morning, you can find hope in the smallest things, and don't forget that laughing is the best medicine.
      Some advice I have for those lonely souls out there who feel hopeless and wavering. Don't give up. I have been there. I have had dark days. But things will get better. The most prominent thing that has been keeping me a float lately is my friends. I bounce around a lot with friends, but I always end up feeling like a one man wolf pack, and I know how horrible that can make you feel. However, as of late I have a few friends that keep my spirits high! That is my suggestion to you.. Find someone. Doesn't have to be a bunch of people, or even a human necessarily! Could be your dog! Find just one person that you can confide in- that will listen to you, and accept you for who you are. It will make a world of difference! I even confide in my journal when I feel like no one else will understand.. But don't bottle your feelings. Because eventually they explode, and the outcome of that is never pretty.

Keep smiling! :)

Don't Judge A Book

Right? Everyone adds their own flavor to things! Doesn't mean the way they dress reflects their lifestyle.

I love this! Because I am a big supporter of individuality! I feel like without the right to express yourself the world would be so devastatingly bland that no one would know what to do with themselves. I think it is AWESOME to see those people who are happy to take that risk in expressing themselves through fashion! It is something that everyone can see! Honestly, I know everyone does it- we see someone who dresses funky and we automatically judge! Well I am here to say- knock it the crap off! You don't know their story! Plus, it is fun! Fun to flaunt your style and see the different feed back you get. I am such a stickler for people being themselves! I cannot stand those who try so hard to be someone they aren't! It makes me sick! Embrace YOU for who you are! If you wanna wear studded boots, and shave off your hair- be my guest! If you want to wear leather pants, and leg warmers on your arms (which I suggest, BTW) freaking do it! It is so worth it for everyone to be able to get a glimpse of you, and your fashion. Difference is like a breath of fresh air! Individuality is something so simple to be upheld! Love your own view of things.. Be excited to show who you are! It is nothing to be ashamed of! Flaunt your personal style, and let those people out there know that you aren't afraid to be yourself! :)

You're UNIQUE let that SHOW! 

Just Keep Swimming

Just keep swimming..

I know I sound like a broken record. I keep encouraging the same things. To live, laugh, love, and be grateful for everything. To not let yourself get down.. yadda yadda. 

But SERIOUSLY! 

I have a hard time getting through things if I can't constantly tell myself that I am strong enough to do it. So.... That is what I am going to do. Refuse To Sink. I have been trying very hard lately to really accept myself. To love who I am and not allow myself to get down as much as I do. I hate that we are our own greatest critics.. To outside eyes we are beautiful. But to ourselves- there is always a place to improve. I am tired of feeling that way! I want to love me for me.. I was just thinking the other day that I wanted to get an old pair of pants and write all my insecurities on them. I know that sounds a bit dramatic, but I feel like if I do this- its almost as if I am embracing it. I would take this pair of pants and write thunder thighs, cankles, fat, gross, not enough, weird, dumb, etc, etc, which- in a form I am taking the words out of myself so I don't have to think them anymore. This way... I allow myself to float. To love myself, no matter my imperfections. Because that makes me who I am.

I challenge whomever is reading this to do something to that extent. Create something that will allow yourself to extract those hurtful words from your body. Life is hard enough as it is without our own critical input. Write out your self hatred, or the things you'd like to change, and get rid of them. Put them away from yourself. 

Allow yourself to float.. Don't be so hard on yourself! When life gets you down- which it most definitely will- 

REFUSE TO SINK.

Gratitude

Really though. Appreciate EVERYTHING and EVERYONE in your life. You don't realize how much other people do for you until they aren't there to do it.. When I was younger I hardly ever said thank you. I would remember to say it after everyone else had said it, or when something big was done for me.. But I never said it enough. One day, my Padre got sooo mad at me. Well, not just me, but my family. He was mad that we weren't thankful enough for what he did. WHICH WAS A LOT. Since then, I honestly notice the small things that everyone does. I try to say thank you as often as possible. I notice also when people do not say thank you! I mean- not trying to sound like a raunch, but when I hold the door open for a course of 20 people, and not one of them says thank you- I want to friggin' scream!! I feel like.. Are you kidding me? I didn't have to do that for you! I know its a simple thing, and I shouldn't be mad but it makes me frustrated. SAY THANK YOU! Have gratitude for what is around you! 
Yesterday in seminary, we talked about gratitude. I don't know if any of you out there reading this are LDS, but you don't have to be to appreciate what your surrounded by.. Honestly, look out the window. The world we live in is so beautiful. We have access to so many things.. We don't have to worry about where our next meal will come from. We don't have to worry about clean water, or electricity. We are given so much. It infuriates me that people don't appreciate the immaculate amount of blessings they have. There is a bottomless list of blessings that each and everyone of us could write!
Even if life doesn't treat you the way you would like, there is still so much to be thankful for. 
Try your hardest to find the small things in your everyday life to be thankful for.
--What if the things you weren't thankful for today, were gone the next?  

Live A Little - But When I Say Little I Mean A Lot

This is the truth.

I was talking with my friend today, and she was telling me about all of her travels, and all the amazing things she has seen and done! I was extremely jealous, because I have always had the dream to travel and experience people and FOOD and the sights to their fullest capacity! That is my biggest goal in life! But she said to me, "honestly, you have not yet experienced life." And.. At first, I thought- well I kind of have. I have had lots of experiences. Lots of trials, and hardships, that test me personally, but as I was thinking about those words that she said I discovered that she was so right! I haven't experienced life! At least not to the capacity I would like to! 

But not just in travel, or with material things necessarily- but with friends, and education.. With love and risks and chances! Sometimes I feel as if I am too safe because I have the greatest fear of being abandoned or lied to. I am scared to trust people, because I constantly give the wrong people the benefit of the doubt! Which they don't deserve, and I am let down! WELL! I am done being safe.. Well, at least I am going to try not to be as cautious. However, I am not saying cautious is the wrong way to be either! It is safe, and it does prevent you from doing stupid things.. But I want to take risks, I want to love, and feel loved! I want to make someones day, or surprise someone when they were least expecting it. I want to broaden my horizon! See things, and learn things- and BETTER myself! I just want to experience things to the upmost possibility available! 

Really, I just want to love life. I am sick of dreading the mornings.. I roll out bed with the thought "ugh! MOTHER FATHER- just another stupid day I need to get behind me.." Instead I want to be the person who is the sunshine to others, who springs out of bed with a song in their head.. someone who makes the day BRIGHT! I just want to live tastefully, and love life. I am sick of being sad. I am sick of being depressed. I have felt so HIGH ON LIFE lately, and I must say I owe it to my friends.. I have friends, sure! But the group of friends I have right now, including my brothers, and cousins <3 Best group of people I could ever ask for! Love them to pieces! 

ANYWAY- I want to challenge everyone who is reading this to take one risk! That one boy you've dying to ask out? FREAKING GO FOR IT! Honestly, the worst he could do is say no! And if so? MOVE ON! Life is soooo so so so so too short to let yourself dwell on stupidity that isn't worth your energy! Like discouraging yourself.. Don't do it. Love you, ok? Most important thing you could ever do! 

BE COURAGEOUS! Do something wild! -but stay safe-

Try something new, people!!!

Because the purpose of LIFE is to LIVE IT. 

 

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Halloween! The night of masks, costumes, and pretending to be someone else! I have always loved Halloween! I look forward to searching through our multiple boxes of costumes to find the  best outfit I can! And the CANDY!? Who doesn't love candy.. Any who, my message for today is going to be brief, but all I have to say is.. 

Don't be afraid to embrace your adolescents, enjoy Halloween, eat candy! Love your youth..(even if you don't have much of it left anymore).. but just for today, don't be "too mature" to enjoy Halloween!  

Let your inner child out, and have some FUN! 

P.S. You're never too old for trick-or-treating!

For the most part, I just absolutely love this picture.

It is my dream to travel all over the world.

I love the thought of experiencing new places, and seeing all the beautiful scenery! Plus, when your little you always want to thing your and adventurer the discovers new and wonderful things.. 

Plus, I am such a tree hugger, and I love the outdoors.

However, I am stuck in a small town, with the same people I have known all my life.. I know many things I wish I didn't, and pasts that should stay with their owners. 

So.. my only adventure, or "escape" is a book. You can lose yourself in a book, and I love it. My favorite thing about a book is letting my imagination run wild with a single detail..  It can carry me away to somewhere completely different, but I get lost in a book so deeply sometimes that the text is the only thing in my head for days. 

But I don't mind.. Whenever my days are getting rough I lose myself in someone else's life. I take an adventure through a trial not my own, or solve a problem for someone beside myself. 

Take an adventure.. Don't be afraid to jump without knowing where you might land. 

Love Yourself

Isn't that the truth.. No matter how hard you try to be someone else, your true self with always catches up to you..
I have learned this lesson the hard way.. I thought if I acted a certain way I would attract more friends, or get that boy I really liked.. Yeaaaah, guess what really happened? I was miserable.. All the time. Trying to be someone your not is exhausting, and TOTALLY not worth it! 
I wanted to tie this in with the inner unity I talked about yesterday. IT IS ESSENTIAL. You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Which is so much easier said then done. But think of it this way.. Last night I was very upset with my body- I have thunder thighs! Lets just put that out there! And I started thinking of all the crazy things I could do to lose weight, and look better. However, I realized that if I were to have the thinest legs, cutest knees, rocking butt, big boobs, YOU NAME IT! I would still find something about myself I didn't like. My hair would still be unmanageable, my nails would never stay painted.. The list goes on. So instead, I am doing my best to accept myself. To just love me, for ME! Because I may have thunder thighs, but they aren't gonna stop me from being happy and confident with myself! Plus.. You have more to give then you think. I want you to look at yourself right now, and say "I love me." I challenge you to give it 2 days! 2 days not to insult yourself, or compare yourself to anyone else. Every time you catch yourself thinking.. "Ugh she is sooo much better looking than me.." Switch your mental thinking to love yourself! 
Class time is up... But I'll continue tomorrow! :) 

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO ACCEPT YOU!

Unity

A Circle. 

A very simple shape 

But somehow it is also complex 

We see circles in many places we travel

The shape of a car wheel

Occasional shape of the moon

 The shape of my favorite cookie- more or less

But it is symbolic for so much more-

              I was thinking about this while I was at state volleyball with my team. When you look at it- we all join in a circle before a game. We group together as an insignia of unity. In a circle all of our energy and spirit of the upcoming game comes together... and as one and we unite, if only for a second, as one team! A single being that desires the same thing! 

             In the story of King Arthur, he replaces the previous table with one that is shaped as a circle to reduce competition between knights. To bring "unity" to the court, per say. 

            Not only is 'circular' unity important in a team setting, or with others- it is important to have it within yourself.. Your biggest strength is courage from within yourself. That is the best weapon to be equipped with.. In any situation, but you have to know how to keep it under control as well.. You can't let your pride consume you.

--Strive for unity inside yourself... Become a circle.. in a sense. :) 

Lighten Up

<------- SERIOUSLY THOUGH.
...I strongly believe in this! There is nothing better than a good laugh! And it is proven to extend your life. Ever day life gets rough.. In my own personal life I get down a lot. Simple things stress me out beyond belief. My friends make me angry, boys... Don't even get me started. They make we want to punch a brick wall on occasion! But nothing lifts my spirits more than a good laugh session! I am so blessed to have a family that is so good to me! My brother and I, have the best time together. He makes me laugh harder than anyone I know! 
--Anyway! If you look past my rambles, all I am trying to say is LAUGH. Just enjoy life. Because it is shorter than you think, and it goes by too fast. Laugh.. Love! Have fun! Don't let the simple stresses ruin your days. Because ruined days become ruined months, and months to years. But if you take a step back and laugh, you will find joy where you didn't expect it to be! 

Keep Calm, and Laugh like Crazy <3 

Hola, Peeps!

Hey! 

--I am starting a new blog on all the things that interest me! I love all things motivational! Quotes are my life line, and I love finding those certain quotes that apply directly to what you are going through.. Best feeling ever! I also love everything fashion! One of my favorite things about getting on Pinterest is looking at the newest fashion materials! And creating things out of leftover scraps of your 3rd grade t-shirts that are lying around.. 

I am really excited for this blog! I have high hopes for it! I also hope that you loveee it, and you will comment your ideas on what I should do next!